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February 2001
March 2001 April 2001 September 2001 October 2001 November 2001 December 2001 January 2002 February 2002 March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 December 2007 January 2008 Now contact:
syndicate me:
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Friday, April 26, 2002 -
>>I want to be past-me again, to be the girl who would be happy because she saw someone smile and cry because someone else was sad.
What happened to that girl? Whatever it was, I think it's natural. This is the end of a phase, just another cycle. It's the start of a new one albeit, but the end of an old one nonetheless. We have about four months until we put all our earthly possessions into the back of a minivan and drive cross-country to drop everything into a little cement room about the size of my sauna. I think a lot of people have emotionally shut down to protect themselves. They've become emotionally strung out and distant, at least on the surface. It's a way of patiently disassembling their lives. We may never see each other again. At least not in the same way. You think you aren't as self-assured as you were, and that might be true. But, as you've said, at the moment you're not in the absolute center of a social circle like you were at the peak of Grant, Luke, and Eleanor (GLE). It's not your fault. You didn't grow boils on your face and an ugly personality to match. If anything, you're more active and kinder than ever. (except for the abusive part, but they always loved that anyway... :) all that changed was the situation... the people you were with just had their time, and you are very, very close to having yours. Think of how sad you would be if you hadn't grown so much with them, if you hadn't learned that you don't always need a significant other to prove that you're a wonderful person. You can know that now, by yourself. And just think, it's not long till you can make yourself the center of attention again, if you feel the desire... ;) You say you want to be little again. Would you like to be older, too? To be established with new friends who you're sure you relate with, even more than with people here?...... Anyway, I'm not really sure what innocence is. You use it a lot, so I was wondering if you could explain it...
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