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February 2001
March 2001 April 2001 September 2001 October 2001 November 2001 December 2001 January 2002 February 2002 March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 December 2007 January 2008 Now contact:
syndicate me:
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Monday, February 09, 2004 -
I think I figured out why it's so hard as a Midwesterner coming to the East. The general populus does not talk directly at me, or make eye contact, or acknoweldge me in any way at all. They make it seem like it's hard to talk to you. Like you're not there. And that makes it hard to talk to them. It feels like I always walk uphill to talk to them. Thinking about my kids back home, I first thought that they accepted me and welcomed me into their group, and that's why it was so easy for me to become freinds with them.
But in retrospect, they didn't make any special effort. It was just their natural tendancy. If they were talking to a group, they looked at each person. If I was in the group, they looked at me and talked at me. People don't do that here. Since I'm so in the habit of feeling welcomed and included in the conversation, it really does feel cold. It's very subtle. I didn't realize it till now; I just felt like people didn't like me, or weren't interested in me. But that's not true. They're just treating me cooler than Chicago; they treat everyone cooler. Mikey, that's why it feels like we're in sixth grade, like we always have to make the effort to talk to people. Because the common easterner treats everyone like sixth graders.
Comments:
There's a difference in the south, though. People here seem either _more_ welcoming than they do back home, or they come of as assholes (mostly the fashion majors). That or they just seem hideously introverted.
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What I've found is that there's this odd little slope of acceptance, here. At least for me, it's rare that someone, or a group of someones, will just come up and start talking to you. Everyone expects everyone else to make the first move. Once that's done it's generally welcoming, but there's a kind of two week trial period where you're 'accepted' but 'pending likability' or the like. I haven't met one person where I've just suddenly become friendly with them, there's always that buffer zone. The other thing is that while all the southerners here seem really welcoming at first, it's mostly just a front. That whole southern hospitality thing... -Mikey! @ 4:30PM | 2004-02-13 # posted by
 : 5/16/2004 12:00 PMLinks to this post: |
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