Speeding down US 50 in the middle of the night to pick up mary from work and feeling the warm, wet air drift over me and through the car, I put on Hello Rockview to enhance the nostalgia and had a few ponderings:

It's half past 7, now I'm on the 95,
Sick of malls and alchol, just passed the next state line
I know it's hard to leave your past behind,
as I think the corner creeks and dirty streets, nothing will change my mind
it feels like going nowhere fast

Literally, you are going nowhere. Everywhere and nowhere. Remember that whole concept of place? Everywhere and Nowhere. I'm someplace, that's just like every other place, but because of that, I lose my context. "Hey Ma! I'm going down to the seven-eleven!" "Where?! Which one?" "Nowhere, Ma!" The malls and alcohol... The car dealorships on rt. 1... I'm starting to reconsider my idea of place. I used to think that College Park didn't have a place. The campus does; it's beautiful. It has a consistent Victorian plantataion archictecture, it has things going on, movies, speeches, presentations, people, comedians, hookahs... Campus is it's own place. Many people never leave campus. Even some people who live off campus never really leave campus. But our rt. 1 strip is nowhere. Let me describe it for you. Perhaps some astute blogger stalker could pinpoint my exact location based on this restaurant data alone: Chipotle, Noodles & Company, WaWa, CVS, Boston Market, Tasty Delight, Moe's Southwestern Grill (ala baja fresh), Subway, Smoothie King...

I recently surfaced from the subway with Mark on a Friday to see Sin City in China town. We came up out of the subway to find exactly these: Chipotle, Noodles, WaWa, CVS, Subway... The same thing! Everywhere! Nowhere! At least that collection of Chipotle and Noodles has a name, we call it Chinatown, and there's a beautiful arch over one of the streets... Rt. 1 doesn't have that. The only time it becomes a place is when hundreds of drunk college kids riot at midnight when we win a game. And not even a tournament game! Riots used to be fun... we'd tear stuff down and burn the frat row couches... Anyway, the other 8,759 hours of the day there's nothing to distinguish that fast-casual group from any other. Nowhere!

I used to think that College Park had no place. I took comfort in the campus, but got frustrated by the strip. But now... I'm wondering if I'll get frustrated by anywhere else. Surely, almost anywhere else in the suburbs around DC. And most parts of DC. The Chipotle/Noodles places. At least there's no Chipotoodles in Chicago's chinatown. That's reserved for the midnight crew's drag racing. I think DC is a cool town. The DC Film Fest is going on next week, and we're going to go see a movie. But, I want to live somewhere that has a place, not just visit one on the weekends. Sometimes I really do wonder about what would've happened if I went to BU instead of here. But that's pretty worthless speculation.



Just talked to this girl, used to live yeah on my street
after all these years you're here, and you remember me
...
She just got a new job but she doubts it will last
so let's take a drink and never think and here's to the past

Do you hear the distance? Not "just talked to my friend" or "just talked to Jenn", but "just talked to this girl." He even needs to give history to identify the "this girl" he's talking about. That's how I feel sometimes. Do you hear the way I reference people in my blog? Old philospohy buddy? Oftentimes, when I'm meeting people, that's how I'll actually think of them. I know it sounds sad, and it feels sad. Sometimes the people just aren't distinguishable. I get to know them. It's not that I haven't cracked easterners yet. I've been doing it for three years; I'm pretty good at it by now. It's just... I'm not that impressed by what I find inside the shells sometimes.

Quick Note: Trying to get back to my roots on the cheap; downloading Catch 22 / Dinosaur Sounds and LTJ/ Anthem. I'll let you know how I feel about them. Nora said she couldn't tell the difference between them a year ago, when we were still talking. We'll see.